I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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