Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wish i was in the wii world.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
