Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.

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  (425): got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche. http://tfl.nu/j1u9
  Replies (11) Good night (3711) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.

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  (313): The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two. http://tfl.nu/ya0u
  Replies (31) Good night (6519) Bad night (1041) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?

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  (774): Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id? http://tfl.nu/53ps
  Replies (6) Good night (3475) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...

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  (705): APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk... http://tfl.nu/biv4
  Replies (5) Good night (3543) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved

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  (951): I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved http://tfl.nu/ox8t
  Replies (7) Good night (955) Bad night (2296) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.

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  (541): Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid. http://tfl.nu/2ym3
  Replies (25) Good night (7417) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable

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  (248): Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/6hsi
  Replies (3) Good night (1376) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle

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  (712): My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle http://tfl.nu/jmfk
  Replies (3) Good night (1307) Bad night (918) Order T-Shirt
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.

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  (641): You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid. http://tfl.nu/bnv7
  Replies (20) Good night (1173) Bad night (3845)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there

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  (509): he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there http://tfl.nu/265p
  Replies (7) Good night (1370) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night

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  (562): Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night http://tfl.nu/ygnc
  Replies (4) Good night (807) Bad night (342) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...

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  (206): I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him... http://tfl.nu/o74a
  Replies (6) Good night (758) Bad night (369) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is

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  (703): I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is http://tfl.nu/znts
  Replies (1) Good night (1217) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.

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  (239): Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance. http://tfl.nu/mqe0
  Replies (10) Good night (770) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.

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  (573): Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car. http://tfl.nu/jvos
  Replies (1) Good night (192) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt

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