They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!