Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
two words...techno handjob
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.