I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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