I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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