you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
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Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Watching her eat just hurts me
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We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina