Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.

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  (408): i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked. http://tfl.nu/0z4b
  Replies (12) Good night (3480) Bad night (575)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own

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  (864): i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own http://tfl.nu/koat
  Replies (13) Good night (732) Bad night (4056)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles

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  (516): If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles http://tfl.nu/okmw
  Replies (4) Good night (1591) Bad night (1145)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.

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  (636): Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk. http://tfl.nu/yiv2
  Replies (1) Good night (935) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?

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  (910): He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/tksy
  Replies (12) Good night (588) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while

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  (732): i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while http://tfl.nu/tvzl
  Replies (4) Good night (1242) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.

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  (206): Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats. http://tfl.nu/azi3
  Replies (12) Good night (467) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  We can put you in charge of something

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous

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  (214): We can put you in charge of something (1-214): I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous http://tfl.nu/dlb7
  Replies (3) Good night (1198) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?

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  (513): No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand? http://tfl.nu/roqu
  Replies (2) Good night (932) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?

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  (678): Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella? http://tfl.nu/jjvm
  Replies (7) Good night (1445) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck

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  (816): I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck http://tfl.nu/awst
  Replies (2) Good night (343) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.

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  (410): Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience. http://tfl.nu/sg6n
  Replies (3) Good night (1006) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing

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  (312): Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing http://tfl.nu/oxks
  Replies (8) Good night (1365) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.

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  (516): He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree. http://tfl.nu/ta05
  Replies (4) Good night (633) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.

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  (734): I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good. http://tfl.nu/zf2u
  Replies (2) Good night (265) Bad night (439)

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