theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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