you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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