5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
