Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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