I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
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There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
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I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Dear god my vagina.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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