sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
