"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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