if you like me you must not know who I am
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
