'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
