your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize