turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
