They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
