how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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