The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
How does one acquire holy water?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
