i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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