i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize