would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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