i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
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