This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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