Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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