super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
