Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I puked a lego.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
40s are totally the cure
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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