Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i now understand why vodka
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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