Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Success! We fucked roommates!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
