Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
