He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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