If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
