and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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