YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
