Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My cat gives me a boner
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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