They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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