OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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