was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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