Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
only you would photoshop your dick
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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