butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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