one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
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He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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