What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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