Yo dont text me then not text me
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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