he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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