I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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