just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
