I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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