true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
this boner is exhausting
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You've changed since you got that strap on
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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