I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize