and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
...so i touched it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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