I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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