If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
