so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
