is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
