Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
