maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
