Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
