He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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