What did we do last night that was yellow?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
