Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How does one acquire holy water?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
