So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
