so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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