ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
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TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
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One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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