So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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