A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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