she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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