I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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