Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize